英语笑话能发音的
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发布时间：2022-04-23 06:48
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时间：2022-06-17 00:09
Good
Boy
Little
Robert
asked
his
mother
for
two
cents.
"What
did
you
do
with
the
money
I
gave
you
yesterday?"
"I
gave
it
to
a
poor
old
woman,"
he
answered.
"You're
a
good
boy,"
said
the
mother
proudly.
"Here
are
two
cents
more.
But
why
are
you
so
interested
in
the
old
woman?"
"She
is
the
one
who
sells
the
candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest
and
Hair
My
sister,
a
primary
school
teacher,
was
informed
by
one
of
her
pupils
that
a
bird
had
built
its
nest
in
the
tree
outside
the
classroom.
"What
kind
of
bird?"
my
sister
asked.
"I
didn't
see
the
bird,
ma'
am,
only
the
nest,"
replied
the
child.
"Then,
can
you
give
us
a
description
of
the
nest?"
my
sister
encouraged
her
.
"Well,
ma'am,
it
just
resembles
your
hair.
"
Notes:
(1)
inform
v.告诉
(2)
nest
n.窝;巢
(3)
description
n.描述
(4)
encourage
v.鼓励
(5)
resemble
v.
相似;类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外
的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
I've
Just
Bitten
My
Tongue
"Are
we
poisonous?"
the
young
snake
asked
his
mother.
"Yes,
dear,"
she
replied
-
"Why
do
you
ask?"
"Cause
I've
just
bitten
my
tongue!
"
Notes:
(1)
poisonous
adj.有毒的
(2)
Cause
I've
just
bitten
my
tongue
因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。
句中
Cause
是
Because
的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A
Woman
Who
Fell
It
was
rush
hour
and
I
was
dashing
to
a
train
in
New
York
City's
Grand
Central
Terminal
-
As
I
neared
the
gate,
a
plump,
middle-aged
woman
sprinted
up
from
behind,
lost
her
footing
on
the
smooth
marble
floor
and
slid
onto
her
back.
Her
momentum
carried
her
close
to
my
shoes.
Before
I
could
help
her,
however,
she
had
scrambled
up.
Gaining
her
composure,
she
winked
at
me
and
said,
"Do
you
always
have
beautiful
women
failing
at
your
feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道:“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
英语笑话(一)
Q:
What's
the
difference
between
a
monkey
and
a
flea?
A:
A
monkey
can
have
fleas,
but
a
flea
can't
have
monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧?
Q:
How
can
you
most
irritate
a
farmer?
A:
By
treading
on
his
corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的;而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q:
Which
is
the
strongest
creature
in
the
world?
A:
The
snail.
It
carries
its
house
on
its
back.
因为snail(蜗牛)的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢?
Q:
What
do
people
do
in
a
clock
factory?
A:
They
make
faces
all
day.
一看到make
faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q:
How
do
you
stop
a
sleepwalker
from
walking
in
his
sleep?
A:
Keep
him
awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk
in
his
sleep)呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话(二)
He
is
really
somebody
--
My
uncle
has
1000
men
under
him.
--
He
is
really
somebody.
What
does
he
do?
--
A
maintenance
man
in
a
cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
--
我叔叔下面有1000个人。
--
他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
--
墓地守墓人。
英语笑话(三)
Not
long
after
an
old
Chinese
woman
came
back
to
China
from
her
visit
to
her
daughter
in
the
States,
she
went
to
a
city
bank
to
deposit
the
US
dollars
her
daughter
gave
her.
At
the
bank
counter,
the
clerk
checked
each
note
carefully
to
see
if
the
money
was
real.
It
made
the
old
lady
out
of
patience.
At
last
she
could
not
hold
any
more,
uttering.
"Trust
me,
Sir,
and
trust
the
money.
They
are
real
US
dollars.
They
are
directly
from
America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说:“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话(四)my
little
dog
can't
read
Mrs.
Brown:
Oh,
my
dear,
I
have
lost
my
precious
little
dog!
Mrs.
Smith:
But
you
must
put
an
advertisement
in
the
papers!
Mrs.
Brown:
It's
no
use,
my
little
dog
can't
read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人:哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人:没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话(五)Bring
me
the
winner
--
Waiter,
this
lobster
has
only
one
claw.
--
I'm
sorry,
sir.
It
must
have
been
in
a
fight.
--
Well,
bring
me
the
winner
then.
给我那个打赢的吧
--
服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
--
对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
--
哦，
那给我那个打赢的吧。
