我们没合适的词来形容孤独的背面，但如果有，我要说，那就是我的今生所求。那是我在耶鲁找到的，我感激的，以及我害怕失去的——明早我们在毕业典礼之后醒来，要离开这片地方的时候。
We don't have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life. What I’m grateful and thankful to have found at Yale, and what I’m scared of losing when we wake up tomorrow after Commencement and leave this place.
这感觉说不上是爱，也不是什么同志情怀;只是当你和其他人，许许多多的人一起相互依靠、同舟共济的感觉。和你在同一战线上的同学。你坐着等别人去付帐单。某个晚上凌晨四点却没人有睡觉的意思。那个听吉他声的夜晚。或是什么我们早已记不清的晚上。我们经历过，走过，看过，笑过，感同身受过。还有毕业典礼上满天飞舞的帽子。
It’s not quite love and its’ not quite community; it’s just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team. When the check is paid and you stay at the table. When it’s four A.M. and no one goes to bed. That night with the guitar. That night we can’t remember. That time we did, we went, we saw, we laughed, we felt. The hats.
耶鲁满是我们给自己围起来的小圈子。合唱团，运动队，宿舍，兄弟会，课外活动。因为它们我们才感觉到爱，还有极度的信赖，即使在那些最孤独的深夜，当我们孤身一人踉踉跄跄地走回宿舍，再打开电脑奋斗的时候——无依无靠，满身疲劳，却清醒无比。明年我们将失去这一切。我们不会再和自己的朋友住在同一栋楼。我们不再会有数不清的群发短信。
Yale is full of tiny circles we pull around ourselves. A cappella groups, sports teams, houses, societies, clubs. These tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest nights when we stumble home to our computers—partnerless, tired, awake. We don’t have those next year. We won’t live on the same block as all our friends. We won’t have a bunch of group texts.
这让我恐惧。相比找不到好工作、找不到安定的住所、孤独终身，我更害怕失去现在我们拥有的小世界。这份模糊不清、难以定义的孤独的背面。此时此刻我深切体会到的。
This scares me. More than finding the right job or city or spouse, I’m scared of losing this web we’re in. This elusive, indefinable, opposite of loneliness. This feeling I feel right now.
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